Saving Account for Marriage Life

Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. This was what they did after certain time:

- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Monica talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.' Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record.. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.! That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in Love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in Love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you! nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd fe! el better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws! of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always

'GOD determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who! You let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

80/20 Rule

Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?'

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. 'Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not'

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'

Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? 'They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!'

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!

QUOTE : DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT

Teaching Your Child About Respect

One of the most important things parents can teach their children is respect. And respect is not the same as obedience. Children might obey because they are afraid. However if they respect you, they will obey because they know that you have their best interest at heart.

The best way to teach respect is to show respect. When our children experience respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is.

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child not only succeed in school but also later in life. If children don't have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it's almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with others.

Al thought schools teach children about respect, parents play a significant role and have the most influence on molding their children to become respectful individuals. Until children show respect at home, it's unlikely they will show it outside the home.

Respecting your child

Learning to treat children with respect will require a change of heart, that can come only from a major shift in consciousness of how we see our children and how we define respect.

Like adults, children have human dignity too. To treat a person with respect is to acknowledge and preserve their human dignity. To treat a person with disrespect is to attack their human dignity.

If we want to bring out respectful children, we must first be respectful parents, teachers and care givers.

Children are our mirrors. they reflect back to us everything we say and do. 95% of everything our children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction. We are role models for our children. What we speak is what we teach. Children record every word we ever say to them or in front of them. The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak.

How can you show respect to your child?

- Be positive. Don't embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment him or her.
- Be honest. If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize.
- Be trusting. Let your child makes choices and take responsibility.
- Be reliable. Keep promises that you make. Show your child that you mean what you say.
- Be fair. Listen to your child's side of the story before reaching a conclusion.
- Be polite. Use 'please' and 'thank you.' Knock before entering your child's room.
- Be a good listener. Give your child your full attention.

More Respect Tactics

When you set rules at home, explain to your child why the rule is important. For example, if you have a rule that says 'No taking of dinner in front of the TV,' do explain that this is because dinner time is the time for everyone to get together, catch up on what has happened during the talk, to talk and to show care and love for one another in the family.

• Teach your children to respect themselves. Self-respect is one of the most important forms of respect. Once we respect ourselves, it is easier to respect others.

• Help them set and achieve goals. Their self-respect will skyrocket when they see themselves achieving those goals.

• Encourage honesty and integrity. Let your children know that they may be able to fool some people, but they can't fool themselves. There is no pride in stealing, cheating or lying.

• Your opinion means a lot to your children. If you believe your children can succeed, they will believe they can as well. Build their independence. Give them responsibilities as soon as they can handle them.

• Most importantly, show love! Say "I Love You" often, and give plenty of hugs and kisses. If your child makes a mistake, remind them that they are still loved.

Forgive & Forget - A key to better relationship

1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship


2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrong doing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no on going negative references to the event


3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again


4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense


5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior


6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses


7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality


8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses


9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future


10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared

Negative Consequences of the absences of forgiving and forgetting. In the absence of forgiving and forgetting, the partners in a relationship run the risk of:

• Continuously being hurt with pain and suffering going unresolved


• Unresolved guilt and remorse for offenses committed


• Chronically seeking revenge and paybacks from one another


• Being caught up in unresolved anger, animosity, and bitterness


• Defensive, self-protective, and distant behavior


• Blaming, negative and non-growth oriented behavior


• Being stuck in a battlefield stockpiled for future offensive attacks


• Being lost in a festering wound that never realizes the revitalization of healing


• Secretive and non-communicative behavior


• Fear over making a mistake or of having the mistake revealed


• Being overwhelmed by fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of non-approval, low self-esteem, fear of conflict & High stress

So, Forgive someone today and post about how you did it to encourage more to do the same that may lead us all join our hand without any difference in developing trouble free Universe.