Wednesday, September 12, 2007

8 Ways To Scare A Telemarketer

  1. Ask him to talk v-e-r-y slowwwwwwwwly, tell him that because you want to write down every word he says

  2. When he introduces himself (eg "John"), immediately say, "Wah piang eh!, John! Long time no see, How are you? How is your life going on? Are you still living in that same old place?" This should stun John for a while, as he scrambles to remember where he might know you from

  3. After he finishes marketing spiel, tell him he must marry you first before you sign on

  4. If he says he's Ah Boon Sheng from XYZ Pte Ltd, ask him to spell his name first. Once he finishes then ask him to spell his company name. Then ask him where it's located. Continue asking him personal questions or questions about the company until he gives you up

  5. Insist that caller is actually your friend Ben, playing a joke. "ello, Ben, Don't like that leh! Stop playing this fool! I know its you!!! Seriously, Ben, How is your Mom doing? Is she out from the hospital yet?" and talk more till he ends your call

  6. After he finishes his pitch, say in very creepy voice, "Thank you for calling me. I don't have many friends...do you want to be my friend?"

  7. If he asks, "How are you?" Tell him, "Wah Lau, got so many problems. My fish all died in my fish tank, then my mother and father had this big arguments until the neighbours called the police, and then lagi worse, don't know why, but my right leg was itching the whole day, so I went to the clinic and then..." continue until you hear beep beep beep from the other end

  8. Tell him you're busy at the moment, and ask him for his home number so you can call him back. He'll try to give you his office number, but insist on his home number as you will be busy whole day can call only night. When he says he can't give his home number, ask him, "you don't want some funny stranger calling you up at home and disturbing you, is it?"

3 comments:

revatechnic said...

cool stuff, i used to be a tele-marketer once, and i think these will actually solve the problem.
hahahah

Saravanan said...

oh is it? But think of it, they are just doing their job. But being a victim it makes us feel bit different isn't it?

Anonymous said...

I find this very hilarious. I will try this on the next telemarketer.